I know, “kind of” having a birthday is like “kind of” being pregnant. But it is “kind of” Johnny’s birthday today. The story behind that is that when we went to Ukraine to adopt we didn’t know who we were going to adopt. We were hoping for a little boy, and/or boy and girl if the situation looked right. As it turned out we were offered two little boys, 16 months old. They weren’t biological brothers but and grown up in the same orphanage since birth. Their birthdays were 7 days apart. The counselor in Ukraine we were working with suggested we change their birth dates so they would be the same. “Change someone’s birthday, can you do that?” Apparently you can. The rational was that it would be easier if they had the same birthday and appeared like twins. That way every time you registered for T-ball or preschool you wouldn’t get drilled with questions on how could your kids be born 7 days apart. The reasoning I had was that I wanted the boys to have the option of sharing their adoption story or not. If they had the same birthday then they wouldn’t have to tell everyone they were adopted if they chose not to.
As it turns out I regret changing their birthdays. I wish I had just kept them the same and dealt with all the questions. With a big family that looks a little different we get questions all the time anyway. We are open about how our family grew and about adoption so the boys are fine (actually I think they are proud of their story)with their beginnings. This year we are celebrating the birthdays separate. One this weekend, one next (by their choice). Maybe someday he will change his birthday back to the original date (if you can do that?) but for today we remember a special day he was born and this summer we will celebrate the special day he joined our family.