Top 5 things that disqualify you from being mother of the year (possibly based on personal experience):
5. Driving your daughter to her friend’s birthday party, you notice her friend playing in her front yard when the party is supposed to be at the local pool, you stop and ask the friend what’s up and find out the birthday party was YESTERDAY!
4. It is time for soccer practice. You take your one year old twins out to the van but forget something and so you set them down in the grass really quick to run back inside to grab it. It is 4:59. You hear a loud swishing noise. 5:00…the sprinkler system! Sure enough you go out to see your poor daughters being showered by the sprinkler system, traumatized for life. And yes, there were some neighbors walking their dog who witnessed your mothering skills.
3. Your daughter gets home from school, takes off her jacket and snow pants. Thats when you notice she is wearing shorts and a T-shirt. It’s December.
2. It’s picture day. You forget. Enough said.
1. Take the kids to swim lessons, try to contain 2-year-old twins in the balcony area while “watching” the lesson. Older brother brings soccer ball to kick around. While distracted by one of your kids splashing sibling in the pool toddler one throws soccer ball over the balcony. It lands in the pool. Sibling three from swim lessons jumps out of the pool to retrieve the ball from the deep end, jumps in. Is able to swim enough to get it but freaks out the swim instructor. Sibling tries to throw the ball back up to the balcony and it ends up back in the pool. Older brother sent down to retrieve ball. Notice you have been screaming from the balcony providing quite a show for the other waiting parents. Decide it is a great time to SIT in one place. Take out a snack. Dig through bag. Remember the only snack you grabbed was the leftover Valentines candy. Proceed to take out the FUN DIP…the blue kind… Desperate you sit each toddler down with their sugar stick to dip in the blue dyed sugar to buy a few moments of sanity. Take a deep breath. Look over at the mom next to me. Her and her 3-year-old son are reading. Actually HE is reading. The stack of flashcards are spread out ont he table right next to the bag of organic veggie chips. (I think she DID win mother of the year!)
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers! (Even the ones who give their kids FUN DIP!) Anybody else’s mom make it look so easy?