Monthly Archives: October 2013

Parenting Advice from my Frozen Lasagna

lasagnaSo I went to put in a frozen lasagna (usually I make homemade lasagna but life got in the way tonight) and the film cover that you’re supposed to remove ten minutes before it’s done was printed with one sentence, highly researched quips:

“Kids who have regular family dinners may get better grades.”

“Kids who have frequent meals together may be more likely to feel that their parents are proud of them.”

“Teens who have regular family dinners may be more likely to confide in their parents.”

I like how they’re really going out on a limb there and using the word “may” (thanks Legal).

My fourteen-year-old heard me reading these affirmations and chimed in, “You know mom, I feel like I can confide in you that I really like lasagna.”

Forget “Love and Logic”, I’m following “Stouffers” from now on.


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Top 5 Signs Your Child Might NOT be Ready to Use Scissors Unsupervised

1.  Australia has almost been removed from the map

1. Australia has almost been removed from the map

2.  Little Olivia got a haircut...

2. Little Olivia got a haircut…

3. did all the paintbrushes

3. …so did all the paintbrushes

4.  "Could you close the blinds?"  "Why no, I can't, someone CUT OFF the strings!"

4. “Could you close the blinds?” “Why no, I can’t, someone CUT OFF the strings!”

5.  "Look Mom, I have wireless headphones now!"

5. “Look Mom, I have wireless headphones now!”


I know, I know, you’re thinking what on earth were you doing while your kids ran around the house in a crazy cutting frenzy?  Well, these are cumulative findings that have been discovered over the course of time, however I am baffled that at my kids’ ages these still occur.  I don’t get it.  But maybe it’s like the urge some kids have to eat play dough or snap crayons in half…I know they will grow out of it.  I do want to reassure you that if your kids come over for a playdate we now keep the scissors in a lock box, so your kids should go home with the same amount of hair as they had when they arrived…hopefully…well, no guarantees.





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Family Photo Flop

In August I bought bright-colored sundresses for all the girls and bold colored polo shirts for the boys for our family photo.  I thought I’d haul everyone to a local garden and get some great shots of the family.  Now it is late October, it was 39 degrees and a picture of our family huddling together with windblown hair is not the look I’m going for.  I tried.  I really tried to find a day where everyone was first of all home and second of all not in a foul mood (do you have family photos that bring back bad memories of photo day, like when your kid made a stink about wearing something you picked out) again not what I was going for here.  So as of today we haven’t taken a family photo.  I know there is some time before Christmas cards need to go out but my “Happy Garden Family” may have to be only a dream.  Our Christmas card may be a picture of all of us eating pizza on a Wednesday night.  Reality I guess.


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The Simple Things

A couple of weeks ago my mom came down to visit and brought me beautiful purple mums.  I put them right outside my window on the deck so I can see it from the kitchen.  The girls have been in charge of taking care of it and they have taken on their responsibility with gusto!  They check on it every morning, they water it every day, and when the wind blows it over they are out there putting it back up.  One morning we were surprised by a butterfly visitor.  They went out to watch it and they commented on how she likes our flowers too.  Sometimes it just takes some flowers and a butterfly to make your day.




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Household Shutdown

Hey what a great idea!  I heard a certain government can’t agree on how to spend/make money or something like that so they just shut down.  What if I tried that?  I’m not getting lunch boxes back so I quit making lunches, laundry baskets can’t make the arduous trip from room to washer on laundry day, smelly clothes for the week (not that they would care).  Last minute carpooling?  No way!  When the toilet looks like this…

Not my problem due to the Household Manager Shutdown.

Not my problem due to the Household Shutdown.

not my problem.  5:30 will come around and the kids will sit down to dinner at the table and wait…and wait…and the magical trays full of food won’t show up, that is if they survive that long because I won’t be breaking up fights throughout the day and I’m not sure their negotiating skills are all that refined.

Ring-Ring  “Hello, this is your neighbor, it is 11:30 at night and all your kids are still out playing in your backyard?”  Yeah, because the Bedtime Enforcing Unit has shutdown.  (Although that’s not a realistic example due to the fact that although we have a huge, flat backyard with soccer goals, sports equipment and a sandbox you never find them playing outside…what is that?)

I know that big yellow bus will show up in the morning but I’m not sure if our kids will be on it.  I’m pretty sure it comes at the same time everyday requiring someone to monitor the progression of getting ready for school, eating breakfast and leaving the house when the clock says it is time to leave (some of our kids can do this, others…not so much.)  That no longer will be me.

With the Household Shutdown what will I do with all my time?

Oh, C’mon, you know it wouldn’t last for more than a day, whatever concession I was holding out for would have to be met.  They would realize what a valuable asset I am to the management of our home and the well-being of our family and they would beg me to return to my duties (right moms?) … OR they would skip school, order pizza, and lay around all day (in their dirty clothes) playing X-Box.  Hmmm?  Maybe the Shutdown is not such a good idea?


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