When I went to tuck the girls in the other night this was the scene I came across. Apparently Mike Wazowski had gathered all the bedroom critters to share the story of “Noah’s Ark”. (I can’t make this stuff up people!) I love the girl’s creativity, not sure how to channel it yet, but love it! -Cindy
Posts Tagged With: humor
Let’s say your husband emails you the gas/electric bill…again…and you want to make a difference so you go out and buy a programmable thermostat. Let’s say you want to surprise your husband with your frugality and ecofriendliness all in one big surprise so you decide to install it yourself. Yep most of you are already thinking “bad idea”. But the box boasted “5 Minute Installation” (I’m not that gullible, I didn’t fall for the 3-step roof installation advertised last spring, STEP 1: remove shingles, STEP 2: install new shingles, STEP 3: Sit back and enjoy your new roof). But I’m handy, I’ve fixed toilets, lawn mowers, water softeners, Ken dolls, you name it, so I thought I could do it. Here’s how it went down:
1. I waited until 4:00 to install it (the help-line closes at 5)
2. I asked Lexi to stand-by with the phone to call 911 if I got zapped (she strangely got a kick out of that job)
3. Our old thermostat is from 1954…literally
4. The new directions included phrases like (“the color of the wire does not necessarily correspond with the color of the terminal”) that makes a lot of sense, so the blue wire doesn’t go in the blue “clippy thing”?
5. When I had it all connected (I didn’t get zapped) I turned it on (23 minutes later) and PRESTO…nothing
6. I called the help-line, was put on hold for 20 minutes, finally gave up (had things like dinner to make and oh, look we’re short one kid, better go pick him up from school)
7. When husband got home proudly showed off our new cost-saving device, told him we’d really be saving money that night because we wouldn’t be using any heat at all
8. Wake up to a balmy 57 degrees. Hear how cold it is from the lovely inhabitants of our home.
9. Husband and I work together to try to fix it. Husband has to go to work.
10. Email our old contractor for a referral for a HVAC person.
11. Call the help-line again.
12. After being on hold for 15 minutes get a live person.
13. As soon as I start talking, one of the children walks in and begins to prepare his lunch. Just as I begin to explain the problem said child takes out the big bag of chips and crumples and uncrumples it OVER AND OVER. I give him “the look”…he doesn’t get the message.
14. With one frozen hand covering the receiver I “calmly” ask said child to leave the room.
15. “Who me?” he asks.
16. Eye’s bug out of my head
17. Child leaves, I continue troubleshooting conversation with thermostat lady on the phone. I find out the blue wire doesn’t go in the blue terminal. In fact she doesn’t know what the blue wire is for, but if I would like I could call Honeywell to find out.
18. Follow the directions, flip on the power and PRESTO…yes, we have heat!
19. Call husband to receive accolades on my wonderful accomplishment
20. Instead receive teasing, “You know, maybe people install thermostats in the spring, or fall, you know, when it’s not so cold.” Suddenly get a bad connection on my phone.
21. Decide to go out to lunch with the money I saved on the install, (I’ll let you know how much I collect from my false advertising suit…anyone know a good lawyer?)
We’ve been discussing getting a pet at our house. Cat, dog, fish…rock. The conversations have been going on for a while and we (the parents) are just not quite ready to pull the trigger on any big decisions. So the other day we were driving home from church and I overheard the kids talking about getting a kitten.
Child 1: “Oh, kitties are so cute we have to get a cat!”
Child 2:”We can’t get a cat, mom is allergic.” <long pause>
Child 1 in a whispered conspiracy voice: “Let’s get a new mom.”
(I had to laugh!)
“Are you sure it’s a beaver that sees it’s shawdow?”
“Yup!” they both agreed. “Our teacher had a big black sheet of paper on the door and that was his cave.”
“The beaver cave?”
“Yup, the beaver comes out of his cave and sees his shawdow and now there’s 6 more weeks of winter.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t a groundhog?”
“Oh, yeah a groundhog!” they both agreed.
“You have a nice white shirt?”
You know mother’s intuition? It was created for a reason. This morning I had him lay his things out so he would be ready to go. That “nice white shirt” we talked about? Oh yeah…white undershirt!
Anybody see that angry lady at Target today with the dress shirt in her cart…yeah, that was me.
Cracked open a bottle of wine around noon today when I found out that school was canceled AGAIN tomorrow (perspective: the kids had 16 days off for winter break and then they had today off for extreme cold weather and now…now they have tomorrow off…need I say more?). My very resourceful teenager called to say, “Hey mom did you hear we don’t have school tomorrow again? (long pause while I picked myself up off the floor) and if it is still too cold on Wednesday they will have to cancel school the whole week ’cause you can’t have a 2 day school week.” (Not sure if that’s true or not, but the thought of it made me pour another glass).
“Hey, yeah, thanks for that info JOEY!” I could tell he was beaming at the other end of the phone.
You know that song “Heart and Soul”? I taught Lexi and Johnny how to play that on day 2 of winter break. They have been practicing…a lot. So I am going to sit here with my glass of wine at noon, listening to Heart and Soul…go ahead and judge!
So there are 9 kids in my house right now (we’re on day 11 of Christmas break…not that I’m counting). The kids have friends over and one of the friends’ moms brought over a plate of fudge. So all the kids are downstairs (its a wonderful mix of no screaming and yet not so quiet that you know they’re up to something) and I am eating all the fudge. This is a great way to end the year. A house full of happyish kids and more chocolate per square inch than should be legal.
Cheers to Fudge and Family in 2014 (quite possibly in that order…this fudge is REALLY good!)
1. Print this photo
2. Cut it out and glue onto a card
3. Add Christmas Scrapbooking decorations (like sequins and glitter!)
4. Write, “Merry Christmas from the Rasmussen’s” on the inside (in really nice handwriting)
5. Put into an envelope and address it to your family
6. Slide it into your mail box
7. Wait a few minutes
8. Open the mailbox, retrieve the card, “Hey look, our Christmas card did get to you in time for Christmas! Merry Christmas!”
I am officially a published author!! I wrote a humorous article for TWINS magazine and it was published in this months issue. It is about Cassie and Callie’s first season of soccer. You can check it out here in the Laugh out Loud column:
TWINS Magazine Holiday 2013 Issue I have another article that has been accepted for publication that will be coming out in January (Focus on the Family’s Thriving Family magazine) and I’ll have my new website which will host this blog, ready in January. Stay tuned! -Cindy
Last Friday was the 4th grade Family Breakfast where all the fourth graders come in before school with their families, have breakfast and put on a short concert. It is always super cute, they do it for every grade, and even though this was the sixteenth family breakfast I’ve been to (one for each kid, each year for the last 10 years or so) I had a good time.
Then last weekend it was opening weekend for Oliver! the community theatre production that Johnny is in. On opening night I volunteered to work backstage as “Kid Corraler” and keep the kids (about 30 of them) contained in the dressing room. Always be cautious of volunteer jobs that have the most vacancies, like when the kids were in hockey and I volunteered for the late shift at the concession stands…thats the person that has to clean the whole place, including the popcorn maker before they can go home. You live and learn. This job was kind of like that…well not that bad actually. I admit I had fun and it made it more enjoyable the next day when I got to watch the performance and see the kids in action. They were amazing! I was really proud of Johnny, so glad he’s found his niche. Another thing I learned about the theatre, that I quickly remembered upon arriving and taking off my jacket, is that backstage people are encouraged to wear black. The crew, the helpers, the other moms, all in black…me?…bright pink half-zip fleece…oh yeah!
The third performance was the 3,4,5 year-olds at Wednesday night church. I remember when the girls performed a few years back and they took their name tags off and stuck them over their mouths…so proud. This year they sang. It was really cute. It doesn’t get much better than a bunch of little kids singing, “Go tell it on the mountain!”
Josh does not have any shows coming up but he did just start taking guitar lessons. He is eyeing a “Beetles” song book to work his way up to. Or maybe a garage band.
Joey doesn’t have any shows coming up either but I did learn from him that apparently our living room is an open stage to his friends on Xbox Live while he is playing his games. “So they can hear what I’m saying right now?” “Yes!” the TV answered back. I’m not sure I want to be on speaker phone to the world in my own home.
So that is the crew. Gearing up for winter “break”…all sixteen days of it…not that I’m counting.